Previously: Tamlin and Feyre hold bloody hands.
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Feyre has a bath, and then Alis brings her some "molten chocolate." I think that's exactly like "hot chocolate," but make it fantasy. Unless, of course, this is Feyre's way of telling us that Alis made her hot chocolate too hot.

"It was the best thing I’d ever tasted. I drank from the thick mug as she brushed my hair, nearly purring at the feel of her thin fingers along my scalp."

Does she mean to say the liquid was thick, or is she holding like a really fat mug?

Once the rest of the help leaves, Feyre asks Alis if there is going to be a war if more faeries keep crossing the border. Alis tells her not to ask such things because it's bad luck. Feyre hears "keep asking questions," though, so she keeps asking questions that Alis refuses to answer because it's none of Feyre's concern.

Feyre begs to differ. If the blight spills over to the human world, she needs to warn her family. Alis tells her to let Tamlin deal with it, which is also what the Suriel told her. I know she's a weak human in the magic land. I also know she's as dumb as rocks. However, all of this also has "don't worry your pretty little head off" vibes, and considering she's as close as you can get to a romantic prisoner here, I don't exactly like it.

Alis knows what Feyre was up to in the forest because the kitchen told her all the supplies Feyre requested. Feyre says that if Alis had a family, she'd understand. What the hell. Why would you immediately assume someone just doesn't have a family??

"“Would you have done anything else? If you had a family—”
“I do have a family.”
I looked her up and down. There was no ring on her finger."

Feyre, what the fuck. You don't have a ring on your finger either, AND YOU HAVE A FAMILY. Why would you look at this woman and just ASSUME she has NO FAMILY because she's not wearing a RING??? My god.

Of course, now Alis has to explain that she had a sister who died and left behind two children. Everything Alis does is for those boys. Feyre doesn't at all acknowledge what a little shit she is and just asks questions about Alis's nephews like everything is chill.

This leads us to some exposition about how the High Fae can't breed easily or regularly, and the ones who are born age slowly. Feyre at least apologizes for calling Alis's dedication to her nephews into question. Alis tells Feyre that the next time she goes hunting a Suriel, she should at least come to Alis for help instead of Lucien. Had she been asked, Alis would've told her that all she needed to do was offer it a new robe. I know that's meant to play like a little forgiveness/bonding moment, but since the Suriel adventure almost killed Feyre, I'm sticking to my interpretation that everyone who keeps encouraging her out into that forest just wants her to die. 

We jump ahead to meal time. 

"By the time I entered the dining room I’d stopped shaking, and some semblance of warmth had returned to my veins. High Lord of Prythian or no, I wouldn’t cower—not after what I’d been through today."

What? What does Tamlin being a High Lord have to do with whether or not she would cower after her traumatic experience? Is she saying that she wouldn't cower before Tamlin? Why would she? They left off last chapter holding bloody hands. Feyre's logic always feels like three large leaps away from wherever it should be. 

Tamlin and Lucien are already at the table. She greets them and gives Lucien a subtle nod in response to his inquiring look. His secret that he tried to murder her via Suriel is still safe, apparently. He says he's sorry for the danger they encountered, and Feyre accepts that as a half-hearted, secret apology. Lucien says that Feyre looks lovely, which is a nice opening for this conventionally attractive white woman to not know she's beautiful, so that's what makes her beautiful. She scoffs at the compliment because she'd "never looked lovely a day in her life."

Feyre tells them that she thought fae couldn't lie. Tamlin chokes on his wine while Lucien explains that's actually a lie fae came up with to get humans to trust them. Feyre thinks maybe this means that the Suriel was also lying to her. She looks at Tamlin and decides that she at least knows for sure that he is a High Fae. She can "feel that truth in her bones." This bone-lie-detector is new, though, because previously she had absolutely no idea he was a High Fae, despite it being obvious.

I suppose this should play like a big reveal, knowing the fae can lie, but Feyre was so weird about it the whole time, it's not like we as an audience ever bought it. Every time she thought about it, it was like, "Well, IF the fae can't lie," and "I bet they can lie kind of!" So, here we are. A non-reveal. Cool.

Feyre says Tamlin doesn't act like a High Fae because he isn't sacrificing virgins and killing people. I'm truly baffled by why she came to this conclusion after knowing this man for one hot second, and most of the time, she doesn't even know where he is.

Tamlin assures her that they've never willingly lied to her. Swearsies. 

They eat on in silence until Lucien excuses himself. 

"I was left alone with the most dangerous being I’d ever encountered.
The walls of the room pressed in on me.
“Are you feeling … better?” Though he had his chin propped on a fist, concern—and perhaps surprise at that concern—shone in his eyes."

1. She's giving me whiplash. At any given moment, Tamlin is either the most dangerous being ever or definitely totally not sacrificing virgins and killing willy-nilly, with absolutely no rhyme or reason.

2. Why does that sentence start with "though?" Is there something about propping your chin on your fist that means you can't do that and also express concern?

3. You are telling me you looked into his eyes and see both the concern and the surprise he feels at the concern in his eyes? Uh-huh. Sure.

4. What parthis him saving you in the forest speaks to him not being concerned about you almost being murdered in the forest? Why would he be surprised he's concerned about you if he was concerned enough to save you? FEYRE, WHAT ARE YOU EVER EVEN SAYING??

Tamlin asks her what she was doing in the Western Woods, and she decides to mostly answer truthfully: she wanted to capture a creature that would answer her questions. Tamlin is apparently so shocked by this that his claws shoot out and he scratches his face up and then insta-heals. Like bro, shouldn't you have more control as a super-powerful super-special fae? You mean to tell me you are out here just clawing with no control anytime you have a little spike of emotion? Even after living for hundreds of years? Wild. 

Feyre tells him she caught the Suriel, but the naga showed up before it had a chance to share anything of substance. Tamlin is impressed that a human caught the Suriel, and she's like

Which is very funny because Lucien had to explain to her exactly how to do it.

Tamlin says he hopes he won't have to trap a Suriel to find out what this list of words is about, and he pulls out the list of words Feyre couldn't read. Feyre can't admit to what they are and just excuses herself instead. 

Before she can leave the room, Tamlin stops her with a speech about how much she loves her family, and he knows that everything she did to protect them wasn't because of a promise she made to her mother, but because she loves them. I mean, that's not the sense I got, but sure. 

Tamlin gently tells her that he can help her write to them. He isn't trying to be insulting. He knows she's very capable, even if her family didn't see that in her. 

"They’re fools. Fools for not seeing it.” He winced. But his eyes held no mischief."

Apart from the silliness of that fragment, why would his eyes hold mischief right now? And why would she expect to see mischief after a wince? Those aren't two reactions I would naturally connect.

Tamlin continues that Feyre gave up so much for them and wonders if she even knows how to laugh. Feyre angrily says that she doesn't want his pity. He asks if she wants a friend, then. Feyre asks if fae and humans can be friends. Tamlin responds that 500 years ago, fae and humans were such good friends that the fae went to war for them. (Maybe they should've also told those humans the fae can lie, then? That's what a real friend would do.)

"“I was a child at the time, too young to understand what was happening—or even to be told,” he said. A child. Which meant he had to be over … “But had I been old enough, I would have. Against slavery, against tyranny, I would gladly go to my death, no matter whose freedom I was defending.”

I wasn’t sure if I would do the same. My priority would be to protect my family—and I would have picked whatever side could keep them safest. I hadn’t thought of it as a weakness until now."

She really said, "I would pick the slave holding side if it benefited me." I'd previously guessed the Archerons were terrible to their servants, and honestly, this feels like more evidence. It's also quite wild to me in this kind of romantic fantasy to have a heroine that's all, "I'd pick slavery and tyranny to keep me and mine safe." Especially when we've spent all these pages with her freaking about how to leave this place where they won't let her leave.

Tamlin says that, for what it's worth, her family thinks she was taken away by a long-lost wealthy aunt to care for her on her deathbed. They also know of rumors of a threat to Prythian, which may mean they have to flee at any sign of danger. Feyre is taken aback by the fact that he altered her family's memories, but Tamlin is like, "No, I glamoured their memories." Which is like altering their memories, except you call it something different. 

Tamlin excuses his behavior because he was afraid Feyre's dad would come after her. 

"A silence blanketed my mind, until I was so exhausted I could barely think, and couldn’t stop myself from saying, “You don’t know him. My father wouldn’t have bothered to do either.”
Tamlin looked at me for a long moment. “Yes, he would have.”
But he wouldn’t—not with that twisted knee. Not with it as an excuse."

Man, fuck Feyre and fuck SJM. She keeps up this narrative that her father is using his PHYSICAL DISABILITY, which limits his MOBILITY, as an EXCUSE. It makes me so angry every time.

Feyre finally accepts (maybe, who knows, we've been doing this for 145 pages) that her family is safe and well-cared for, and sure, Tamlin did alter their memories in some vague way she can't know has no lasting effects or permanent damage, but he went so above and beyond in taking care of them. Feyre stares into Tamlin's... mask (seriously) and notices all the beautiful colors she can't name. She realizes that now that she doesn't have to worry about her family, she can paint! 

She asks Tamlin for supplies. He's a little surprised that she likes art, but promises to give her everything she needs. Feyre offers to work to pay off the supplies and to paint outside so she won't make a mess. Tamlin isn't worried about that and tells her to paint where she likes and make a mess if she needs to. 

Finally, Tamlin offers to show her the gallery. He had it closed up when he inherited the place, but he offers to have it cleaned up so that she can see it. She accepts gratefully, and leaves the room fighting a smile and thinking about how her ex-booty call Isaac never made her feel this way. Damn, did you guys know? That Feyre had sex sometimes?

That was 8 Kindle pages and 50 (!!!) em dashes. 

Next time: We get a visit from a Red Shirt in Chapter 17.

♥️

Mari