Previously: Feyre made a super special map, the kind with symbols and pictures.
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We left off last chapter on the curb-hanger of Tamlin leading Feyre to the study, and her stomach twisting when she looked inside.

"Tamlin waved his hand, and a hundred candles sprang to life. Whatever Lucien had said about magic being drained and off-kilter thanks to the blight clearly hadn’t affected Tamlin as dramatically, or perhaps he’d been far more powerful to start with, if he could transform his sentries into wolves whenever he pleased. The tang of magic stung my senses, but I kept my chin high. That is, until I peered inside."

1- She's already experienced his magic, like when he roofied her for the ride or held her down for dinner time. I'm not sure why she's super impressed with a clap-on-clap-off light system, or whatever. Or why it would convince her that he has more magic than he does.

2- I thought she had already looked inside? And that was what made her stomach twist? That's literally what was said one page ago. Okay, guess not. Now you are for real, looking inside, got it.

My palms began sweating as I took in the enormous, opulent study. Tomes lined each wall like the soldiers of a silent army, and couches, desks, and rich rugs were scattered throughout the room. But … it had been over a week since I left my family. Though my father had said never to return, though my vow to my mother was fulfilled, I could at least let them know I was safe—relatively safe.

What is that "But..." Please explain how that makes any sense that she is describing the study (furniture, tomes, rugs) and then goes, "but it's been a week since I left my family." What? Am I losing my mind, or is this making less and less sense as we go on?

Also, I said last chapter that I was really wishing we didn't have to hear about the Contrivance Treaty or Feyre's vow to her mother ever again so jokes on me.

Tamlin asks if Feyre needs anything else. She says no and tries not to think about the "graceful carelessness" of how he uses magic. GRACEFUL CARELESSNESS. lol

Feyre tells us (again again) how her mother neglected her education and then her sisters did as well after their mother died. In her usual way, Feyre has a stupid, half-baked plan to write a letter to her family, but she is unsure both how she is going to manage to write it and how she will deliver it. She thinks it's bad enough that Tamlin knows now that she can't read or write, but she would never ask him to help her, fearing that he would ridicule her.

Tamlin says he'll leave Feyre to it. I genuinely want to know what he thinks he's leaving Feyre to, in a study, if she can't read or write. Does Feyre think she's being effectively sneaky in writing her letter after being asked to be led to a study?

We skip ahead. Feyre took a break for dinner, but she's back in the study, practicing her reading and writing. She stands to stretch, wandering amongst the books until she finds a window overlooking the garden. She only stays there a moment until she's distracted by a painting on a wall.

OH BOY!! A PAINTING! IS THIS IT? IS THIS FINALLY THE MOMENT WHERE FEYRE WILL BE ABLE TO LOOK AT A PAINTING? Wow, the excitement.

"Not a painting, I thought, blinking as I stepped back to view its massive expanse. No, it was … I searched for the word in that half-forgotten part of my mind. Mural. That’s what it was."

The word mural is in a half-forgotten part of her mind? Why? Isn't she an artist? She thinks about painting like every other paragraph. Also, though, this was her one paragraph ago:

"I suppose the study was more of a library, as I couldn’t see any of the walls thanks to the small labyrinths of stacks flanking the main area and a mezzanine dangling above, covered wall to wall in books."

So "mezzanine" is not in the forgotten part of her mind, but she forgot the word for MURAL? Okay. Just have a painting shot, I guess.

Feyre marvels at the mural, which she deduces tells the story of Prythian. Wait, no of ... of Prythian.

"It told a story with the way colors and shapes and light flowed, the way the tone shifted across the mural. The story of … of Prythian."

I could give about a million examples of stupidly placed ellipses and em dashes in any given chapter. I hate it every time.

The story of ... of Prythian that Feyre perfectly surmises from this "simple yet detailed" (??) mural is that a Cauldron was poured and that created the world, and the world belonged to the Fae, according to them. Apparently, nothing interesting happens at all in their history until they start battling with humans and slaughtering them. But they also still somehow lose a bunch of their land to the humans they slaughtered.

There's a whole map of the fae lands, and no matter how much Feyre describes it, I have no idea what's going on here because she keeps referencing both how much land they have and also how crammed they all are.

Also, having Feyre narrate this to us is so painful, because in trying to give it a more conversational flow, SJM keeps doing this:

If she doesn't stop interrupting and correcting herself and just finish this two-page description of a mural...

I also think it's hilarious that she's reading this map and keeps pointing out that there are no markers on the map, but she can tell what it is, because last chapter we had to suffer through her not understanding what a map was. She was like, "No one will know what this map is because I haven't written anything on it!!!"

I swear to you, Sarah Janet never even reads back her own words.

The rest of the map also shows us the other courts: Summer, Autumn, Winter, Dawn, Day, and Night. There is also a big snowy mountain range, and a single unsnowy peak that seems reaaaally important, but Feyre doesn't know what it is. #fortyshadowing

Feyre heads back to her table and is sad again that she's trying to read a children's book and can't even manage. She gets frustrated and throws away the paper she was practicing on when, you guessed it, Tamlin just shows up out of nowhere.

He offers to help her write to her family, and she wonders at his not taking the opportunity to make fun of her. He asks why he would make fun of a shortcoming that isn't even her fault. Feyre's feelings are hurt by the word "shortcoming," so she refuses his help, much to Tamlin's frustration. He doesn't understand why she'll let Lucien take her out for hunts. Feyre interrupts him to say that Lucien doesn't pretend to be anything he's not. Tamlin figures this all boils down to Feyre not trusting him, which is kind of fair, my guy, on account of you kidnapping her and using magic a few times to roofie and restrain her.

Feyre doesn't mention that. Instead, she asks how she's supposed to trust a faerie, considering their long history of killing humans. (Lucien is also Fae...?) Tamlin says she isn't what he expected of a human either, and Feyre's Inner Nesta speaks up to call her illiterate, ignorant, unremarkable, proud, and cold. Tamlin seems to realize that Feyre took that badly and starts to say something, but Feyre just rushes out of the study.

Later, Feyre returns to the study to find that her books have been moved around, and someone has taken her crumpled paper out of the trash. She tries to convince herself that, of course, it was just a servant who did that and not the man she left standing in the study. Sure, Feyre.

She also has all of these really angsty feelings that don't fit what we've actually seen happen. I'm not saying she should trust Tamlin, but she seems to be hating on him for things that didn't even happen? And really being hard on herself for having some pity for him because....? I don't know why?

"I should have let his hand bleed that night, should have known better than to think that maybe—maybe there would be someone, human or faerie or whatever, who could understand what my life—what I—had become these past few years."

WHAT? When did that happen? Did they bond over something, and I missed it?

No, you know what, I went back and looked at the scene where Feyre starts to feel bad for Tamlin because he has a lonely position, and never once did she say it was because she can relate. She literally says, "I wasn't sure why it bothered me so much." And then last chapter, she just says she feels sorry for him when she thinks about how he should've never inherited this land.

We can perhaps infer the parallels between Feyre and Tamlin in their whole "caring for others and lonely" thing, but Feyre just fuming about how she thought maybe they could understand each other really feels like I skipped a chapter or two here. One in which Feyre explains that this is what she's feeling.

Anyway, in this never-ending cycle of a cursed book, Feyre is back to thinking about how she has to find out more about the Blight and maybe find a loophole in the Contrivance Treaty. I keep thinking it might be too late to add the Contrivance Treaty to the drinking game, and yet, it continues to be a thing. Is it too late now?

Feyre decides to find Lucien in his bedroom since she hasn't seen him all day. Once there, Lucien explains that he had some emissary stuff to do, and now Tamlin is out handling more nasty Fae.

Lucien got back from work in time to hear Feyre and Tam's fight, and then Tam found him to yell at him, because that's nice and well adjusted.

Next, Feyre tries to get really sneaky about getting information out of Lucien, and I'm so embarrassed for her right now:

"“I’m impressed you answered me that much,” I said as casually as I could, thinking through my words. “But it’s too bad you’re not like the Suriel, spouting any information I want if I’m clever enough to snare you.”   

For a moment, he blinked at me. Then his mouth twisted to the side, and that metal eye whizzed and narrowed on me. “I suppose you won’t tell me what you want to know.”   

“You have your secrets, and I have mine,” I said carefully. I couldn’t tell whether he would try to convince me otherwise if I told him the truth. “But if you were a Suriel,” I added with deliberate slowness, in case he hadn’t caught my meaning, “how, exactly, would I trap you?”"

Yeah, real casual, Feyre.

Lucien tells her that the Suriel are attracted to birch trees and would fall for a trap if she brought some chickens. He also tells her that anyone stupid enough to go after a Suriel should carry a bow and arrow, a knife he gives her, and they should run like hell to running water afterwards, since Suriels hate crossing running water. Saying "anyone stupid enough" is basically using Feyre bait. She's gonna be stupid enough, Lucien. 

He also says now would be a good time to go since Tamlin is gone and promises to keep an ear out for her.

"But it’s a good thing I had no role in telling you to go out today, since Tam would eviscerate anyone who told you how to trap a Suriel; and it’s a good thing I had planned to hunt anyway, because if anyone caught me helping you, there would be trouble of a whole other hell awaiting us. I hope your secrets are worth it.” He said it with his usual grin, but there was an edge to it—a warning I didn’t miss. Another riddle—and another bit of information."

A riddle?? Bestie, what part of that was a riddle...

Feyre says she's good at keeping her mouth shut and heads off. Before she leaves, Lucien says he's starting to like her, for a murdering-human.

It makes absolutely no sense that Lucien would tell her how to catch this creature, but I suppose we have to get plot from somewhere. We're up to page 123, and two things, max, have happened.

That was 11 Kindle pages and 49 em dashes.

Next time: Feyre is stupid enough in chapter 14!

♥️

Mari